Friday, March 12, 2010

Reasons You Shouldn't Feel 'Mom Guilt'

The kids and Penny in their Pillow Forts.

I came across this article from and found it amusing. Thought I'd share a few of the reasons, that I could relate to or am guilty for feeling "mom guilt".

Taking a vacation with only your husband. It's such a tragedy for the kids to spend time with their superindulgent grandparents! Besides, they'll benefit from you two not giving each other the stink eye during dinner.
I can't say I felt guilty when Stephen and I took our trip to Boston last Fall, but I sure did miss my kids while vacationing with hubby!

Feeling smug that you're a better parent than those on "Supernanny". No worries. We all feel smug watching "Supernanny". Until we don't, at which time we employ her techniques.
Honestly I'm sometimes amazed by the lack of parenting I see on these shows, but then I can be humbled and relate how stressful parenting can be.

Yelling at your son when he actually didn't do anything wrong. Sure, not a great move, but it's a good opportunity to show him that even you screw up sometimes, and that saying sorry really does help make it better.
Um, guilty of doing this with both Madeline and James. Usually it's at times when I am frustrated and overly stressed. But I do apologize to them.

Dipping into your son's goody bag when he isn't looking. What's a funsize Snickers between family members?
Seriously I cannot resist at Halloween time. :)

Accepting your son's compliment that you're a good cook when he's eating pre-breaded microwave chicken breasts. You did your part. You pressed "Start."
Sometimes I feel so bad that I do not prepare a nice, normal family dinner for my kids especially with Stephen working a lot of nights. It is just sometimes easier to pour a bowl of cereal or just toast some eggo waffles and heat up some sausage links, served on paper plates and say, "here ya go, breakfast for dinner!".

Stashing the Häagen-Dazs in the back of the freezer, and showcasing the supermarket brand. If they're not ready to dig, they're not ready to appreciate the premium stuff.
Okay so I've done this (and felt bad) from both the kids and Stephen! Like the Dutch Pastilles chocolates Mickie sent me, I knew if I did not hide them my kids would devour them and my sweet tooth husband who wakes at 3am looking for a snack would finish them off!

Closing the bedroom door in their little faces. You did not magically lose your need for privacy when you gave birth. If someone's bleeding or not breathing, by all means, they can knock.
Sometimes I just crave a private moment (like taking a shower with no interruptions) to myself. So if Stephen is home and can watch the kids - the door to our bedroom gets shut!

Giving in once in a while. It can be a wise parental trade-off, especially if what you're acceding to will buy you a few minutes of quiet time, private time, or time to regroup. You don't need to be perfectly consistent.

Tossing their artwork. After you've saved the truly superior thumb pots and the especially sentimental glitter collages, you will still have a heap of crafts the size of Mount Etna. Fill up a big black Hefty bag after they're asleep, pour yourself some wine, and then watch Hoarders. You'll feel better instantly.
Seriously I bought a 3" ring binder for Madeline's schoolwork and it was jammed packed filled before the half school year mark! I make a point to save the important stuff.

Letting it slip that the tooth fairy was actually her daddy. You didn't destroy her childhood innocence. You let her in on a grown-up secret that she must never, ever tell her little brother, which makes her feel mature and important.
Madeline's a pretty smart cookie and figured out this pretend fairy business on her own. At least she still gets excited for Santa!

Forgetting to lay out her best outfit for school photo days. Years from now, you'll appreciate seeing her as the adorable, rough-and-tumble tomboy she really was -- instead of some dolled-up version of herself.
Okay so I remembered to dress Madeline in her incredibly cute outfit from Aunt Stormy on picture day. But a few months later they had "classroom picture day" and I totally forgot. She was wearing just regular jeans and a striped sweater and I didn't really take the time to do anything spectacularly cute to her hair. So when she came home, with disappointment in her voice she said, "mommy you completely forgot it was picture day today!" Whoops.

I'm sure some of you ladies can relate to some of these reasons. But lets all remind one another we are not perfect! What I do when feeling "mom guilt" is pray about it, asking God to help guide me to being a better parent. So thankful for the Graces He gives me!


Justine and Fernando said...

Now I know what I'll be guilty of doing in a few years. At least I got a warning! P.S. I love putting a Spanish flag in your sidebar.

Rachel said...

What a relief - I'm not the only mom that isn't perfect... :-)

Chad and Crystal said...

that was cute

Chad and Crystal said...

that was cute